Denial

I asked you what happened
When I was a child
Why do I cry at night
Why do I fear the fight

I read your reply:

Dear William

Denial ... Denial ... Avoidance
are very effective means
for dealing with disorders in one's life

so my right arm got busted when I was a kid
I had to carry around a five-pound sand bag all day
to fix the locked elbow
it didn't work out
I've been a cripple since I was six
since I hide it well no one notices
until I must shake hands over a table at a dinner party
I've learned to walk around
its easier that way

I live with my broken wing by denying it exists
what should I do?
Psychoanalyze its effect on my life
with my friends?

I asked you what happened
When I was a child
Why do I cry at night
Why do I fear the fight

I just wanted to know:

When you were a kid your parent's marriage got busted
by hate and personal passions
you had to carry around the five-pound sand bag too
but it didn't work out
your mom and I dislike each other for our failures
even today

there is nothing I can add to your memory of events
what you recall is what happened
the reason you recall so little is
you weren't a part of the painful events
that transpired between your mother
you were an innocent bystander

let it go William
you are good and great and whole as your are
and I love you

Dad

I asked you what happened
When I was a child
Why do I cry at night
Why do I fear the fight

I remember nothing

All lyrics and music (C) Copyright 1993 William R. Cook