Denial

I asked you what happened

when I was a child

why do I cry at night

why do I fear the fight

I read your reply:

 

Dear William

Denial ... Denial ... Avoidance

are very effective means

for dealing with disorders in one's life

 

so my right arm got busted when I was a kid

I had to carry around a five-pound sand bag all day

to fix the locked elbow

it didn't work out

I've been a cripple since I was six

since I hide it well no one notices

until I must shake hands over a table at a dinner party

I've learned to walk around

its easier that way

 

I live with my broken wing by denying it exists

what should I do?

Psychoanalyze its effect on my life

with my friends?

 

I asked you what happened

when I was a child

why do I cry at night

why do I fear the fight

I just wanted to know:

 

When you were a kid your parent's marriage got busted

by hate and personal passions

you had to carry around the five-pound sand bag too

but it didn't work out

your mom and I dislike each other for our failures

even today

 

there is nothing I can add to your memory of events

what you recall is what happened

the reason you recall so little is

you weren't a part of the painful events

that transpired between your mother

you were an innocent bystander

 

let it go William

you are good and great and whole as your are

and I love you

Dad

 

I asked you what happened

when I was a child

why do I cry at night

why do I fear the fight

I remember nothing

 

All lyrics and music (C) Copyright 1993 William R. Cook